My intention was to begin today. Isn't it funy though that I just couldn't do it. I weighed in at 166 this morning. Ugh. Just 8 more lbs. and I'll be back to what I was when I had first started dieting! I feel gross. At only 5'2" it's just too much meat on these bones.

I noticed the other night at a friend's apartment while doing laundry, that stairs are getting to be quite a problem. I had nothing in my hands and walked slowly, but by the top of a two-flight landing, I was sweating and breathing heavy. Back when I was thinner, and working, I used to run up 4 flights and not even huff. This disgusts me.

My blood sugar has been completely out of whack the past few weeks as well. And I've been getting heart palpitations and bloody noses again.

Yet, even though I am disgusted, and even though I'm showing some definate diabetic and high blood-pressure symptoms lately, I still couldn't go back on the diet today. Why? What is wrong with me???